I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
