do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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