My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
