Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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