I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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