The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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