If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize