he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
40s are totally the cure
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
