RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
And then he peed in my hair
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