Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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