okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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