will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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