You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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