The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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