He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
