Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
