What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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