Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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