weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
