I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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