ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
