If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
