bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext me about skeletons
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize