She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
