Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
