I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
