I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
