I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
