conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
