I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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