my phone needs a breathalizer
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
