Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
