Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
