Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
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I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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