I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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