Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
she looked like the before picture.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.