haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.