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I think I won the penis lottery.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
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