Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!