So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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