Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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