have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
