I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
