: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
