Where are you?
In a non slutty way
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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