im six kinds of drunk right now
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize