you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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