sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
