Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
