I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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