party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think people are normalizing furries
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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