Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
