Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
