whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
