belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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