good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
