Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
