Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
