Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
