According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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