Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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