Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
