yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
